FUNNIES

My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried?

Apparently "balls deep in your sister" wasn't the answer she was expecting..

I was in the supermarket yesterday with my two trollies full of booze when a little old lady stood behind me in the queue.

She only had a pint of milk, so I said "Is that all you've got love?".

She replied "Yes",

so I did the decent thing and said.......

"If I was you I'd fuck off to another till, I'm gonna be ages"

I've just seen an umbrella fly past my fucking window. Oh well, R.I.P Mary Poppins.

Answering Machine Message :-

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call".

I have been making some Changes in my Life. Please leave a Message after the Beep".

If I Do Not Return Your Call, Unfortunately, You Were One of the Changes."..