I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me 'Oi, what's your disability mate?'
I said 'Tourettes, you wanker, now fuck off!'
My new German girlfriend gives me marks out of ten when we have sex.
Last night for example I shoved it right up her arse and she yelled "nien, nien!"
My best score yet..
I was laying next to my husband in bed last night and he whispered in my ear,
"did you know that sex can cure headaches?
"I looked at him and said,
"So can paracetamol and they last four hours"
Two policeman call the station on the radio...."Hello is that you Sarge?"
"YES" "I think we have a case here,a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just Mopped clean.."
"Have you Arrested her?"
"NO sir" the floor is still wet.."..
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