DATING BDSM STYLE

Thanks to Mistress Georgina for finding this and also thanks to Majistar for allowing us to copy and post it....

Under consideration -- we're dating
I've been released -- he dumped me
24/7 -- a relationship (probably live-in)
I am a true dom/sub -- you're a phony if you aren't just like me
He's a wannabe -- I'm acting like I'm part of the "in" crowd, but that's because I'm hoping you won't see that I'm really a wannabe
You aren't sub enough -- I can't handle a gal with a mind of her own without resorting to cheap manipulation
I have a mentor/protector -- he's got a knight in shining armor kink and gets off on playing "dom lite"
I'm real -- I'm crazy so I hope this convinces you that all the goofy stuff I've said has its place on planet earth
submission is a gift -- I'm waiting for Prince Charming to come riding up to me in a carriage drawn by pink unicorns
IS THIS YOU?? (follows a description of a fantasy mate) -- Are you so stupid or desperate that you take me seriously?
I will bend you to my will –- I am insane
I am a bratty sub –- I am a pain in the ass
I am a submissive with slave tendencies -- pick me because I'm pretending to be subbier (or better) than a regular submissive.
I am seeking my One -- someone out there has dysfunctions which are compatible with mine
I have 20 years experience in the lifestyle -- I hope you'll be impressed by the few things I learned 20 years ago because I haven't learned anything since
I seek a master to teach me -- I dropped out of high school
I am a trainer of sluts -- I'm looking for girls who will believe they are being "trained" when I order them to blow me
training -- getting to know ya
I'm trained -- I will drive you nuts doing exactly what my last master wanted
I am a 24/7 slave, online only -- I am a bored housewife
I'm strict but fair -- I'm always right, you're always wrong, and I'll beat you whenever you’re right and I don’t want to admit it

What they say Verses What they mean in personal ads:

Spiritual: Will say anything to have sex with you
Seeing what is out there: Cheating on a girlfriend or spouse (or both)
Slightly older: Buys Viagra in bulk
Looking for a friend: Wants sex on the first date
Lets get to know each other: Wants fuck buddy
Bored with: Tired of jerking off
Artist: Jobless, crashing on friends couch
Open minded: Wants anal sex on first date
Handsome: Bald
Soulful: Long winded and dull
Long term relationship: Desperate and lonely
No Games: Anticipate Drama
Fun Loving: Get used to lots of farting and burping
I like to spoil you with…..: Stalker
Tantric gentleman: Middle aged and frequently naked
Normal guy here: Lacks any sexual ability whatsoever
Looking for more: Hookers stopped returning his calls
Adventurous: Owns insane amounts of porn
New to the area: Drifter wanting free sex
Available: Horny and desperate
Creative: Will let you buy dinner
Nice looking: Serial Killer
Looking for a connection: I need your vagina for three minutes
Athletic: Jerks off at his own reflection frequently
Fit: Scrawny
Dedicated: Has no life wants to invade yours
Entrepreneur: Unemployed
Ready for a fresh start: Hiding from law enforcement
Honest: Lacks any discretion
Fun: Has numerous fetishes
Respectful: Pussy Whipped
Down to earth: Will bore you to tears
Successful: Overly self important

Intelligent: Pompous
Sensual and caring: Will fixate on rubbing your breasts endlessly
Average guy: Short and balding
Discreet= please, pretty please, don't tell on me
Race, sex, age unimportant = just something to stop the masturbation
Intelligent - can spell own name correctly (most of the time)
Caring - has 20 cats
Sociable - has multiple personalities on Second Life
Will encourage your hobbies - wants weekends free for gaming conventions
Loves kids - convicted pedophile
Considered handsome - by his mother
Financially secure - tightwad
Looking for love - didn't find it with his four ex-wives
Neat and tidy - irons his underwear/borderline OCD