SENIOR MOMENT American style

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and,upon returning to her car

found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her hand gun,proceeding

to scream at the top of her voice,"I have a gun,and I know how to use it!

Get out of the car..!!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation.They got out and ran like mad.

The lady some what shaken,then proceeded to load her bags into the back of

the car and got into the driver's seat..

She was so shaken that she could not get the key into the ignition.

She tried and tried,and then it dawned on her why.

A few minutes later,she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter,where four pale men were reporting

a car jacking by a mad ,elderly woman described as white,less than five feet

tall,glasses,curly white hair,and carrying a large hand gun.

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A SENIOR MOMENT,MAKE IT A

MEMORABLE ONE"

MATURITY ON THE INCREASE...

Conspiracy afoot against those of us of a mature nature :-)))

We Must Stop This Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier.

And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader? I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age.

On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection........Well, REALLY NOW ......... even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on-but the telephone! company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack!