TERRORIST ALERT EURO STYLE....

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and

have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,

security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies

all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"

to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"

warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror

alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are

"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire

that destroyed France´s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the

country´s military capability.

It´s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to

"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective

Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to

"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher

levels:" Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can

get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

GOVERNMENT...

ALWAYS GOOD TO RE-CYCLE THIS ONE :-)

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is.

"Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism.

Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government.

We take care of your need, so let's call you The People.

We'll call the maid the Working Class

and your brother we can call The Future.

Do you understand son?"Son:

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it

."That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep.
He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid.
The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.Son:

"Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is.
"Father: "Good son!

Can you explain it to me in your own words?"Son:

"Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."